A Unanimous Decision That Somehow Solved Nothing At All

By Tom Seest

At Sequatchie Crossing, we tell the stories of Sequatchie Crossing.

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🎤 Audio Overview

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Act I – The Meeting That Was Already Understood

The folding chairs at Town Hall had been arranged in a circle, which was how you knew something serious was about to be discussed without anyone wanting to take responsibility for it.

Eugene “Boot” Barnes leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, watching the room fill up with the slow confidence of people who had already decided what they were going to agree to.

“Well,” Boot said, nodding toward no one in particular, “this’ll be productive.”

Clovis Strickland was already nodding. He had been nodding since he walked in, as though agreement was something he preferred to get ahead of.

“Important we all come together on this,” Clovis said, nodding again. “Real important.”

“What exactly is ‘this’?” asked Shelley Fawn Wexler, setting down her notebook.

Clovis paused, briefly, but did not stop nodding.

“Well,” he said, “that’s what we’re here to determine we all agree on.”

Mabel Dean Ashcroft sat stiffly in her chair, hands folded, not nodding.

“I’m not agreeing to anything I haven’t heard yet,” she said.

Across the room, Trixie Jo Bartlett was filming on her phone.

“Y’all go ahead,” she said. “I’m documenting the moment consensus gets ahead of facts.”

Sheriff Peeler stood near the door, Daisy the hound sitting beside him, her ears perked.

“She’s already suspicious,” he said, nodding toward Daisy. “And she don’t even know what we’re discussing.”

“Probably doesn’t matter,” said Ricky Travis “RT” Mullins. “We’ll all end up agreeing anyway.”

Mabel didn’t nod.

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Act II – The Problem That Wasn’t Named

The meeting officially began when Mister Wade Langston cleared his throat in a way that suggested both authority and uncertainty.

“We are here,” Wade began, “to address… the situation.”

Everyone nodded.

Mabel did not.

“What situation?” she asked.

Wade looked at Clovis.

Clovis looked at Boot.

Boot looked at the ceiling.

“Well,” Wade said carefully, “the situation that has been… discussed.”

“That’s not a situation,” Mabel said. “That’s a rumor wearing a tie.”

Santiago “Sonny” Morales leaned forward.

“It’s the thing with the pig,” he said.

That got everyone’s attention.

Outside, faintly visible through the Town Hall windows, was a large pig standing in the middle of Main Street.

It had not moved in three days.

“It’s not just standing,” said Officer Kenny Joe Teeter. “It’s holding position.”

“Against what?” Shelley asked.

“Everything,” Kenny Joe said.

Daisy barked once.

“She don’t like that pig,” Sheriff Peeler said.

“Or maybe she respects it,” said Coach Freddie Stubblefield. “That’s a defensive stance if I’ve ever seen one.”

Doug “Doughboy” Teeter nodded.

“That pig’s got discipline.”

Everyone nodded.

Mabel did not.

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Act III – The Assignment of Responsibility Without Assignment

“Well,” Wade said, “we need to determine who is responsible.”

Everyone nodded.

Mabel leaned forward.

“Good,” she said. “Let’s start.”

Silence.

Then Clovis spoke.

“Now hold on,” he said. “We don’t want to rush into assigning responsibility.”

“That’s the entire point of responsibility,” Mabel said. “It’s supposed to arrive before the conclusion.”

Tiffany Annette Roark adjusted her folder.

“I think,” she said, “we should all agree that responsibility exists.”

Everyone nodded.

“That’s not the same thing,” Mabel said.

“It’s a first step,” Tiffany said.

“It’s a sidestep,” Mabel replied.

Brett and Alyssa Crenshaw raised their hands simultaneously.

“We just moved here,” Brett said. “We don’t want to step on any toes.”

“But we do think someone should probably do something,” Alyssa added.

Everyone nodded.

“No one disagrees,” said Lurleen Davenport.

“That’s the problem,” Mabel said. “Agreement without action is just politeness in a circle.”

Evelyn Grace Tipton spoke softly.

“Maybe the pig belongs to someone,” she said.

Chester Ray Blevins shook his head.

“I printed three flyers asking that question,” he said. “Nobody claimed it.”

“Then it belongs to the town,” said RT.

“Then the town is responsible,” Mabel said.

The room went quiet.

Then Clovis nodded.

“Well,” he said, “we can all agree the town exists.”

Everyone nodded.

Mabel stared.

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Act IV – The Expansion of Agreement

Pastor Arnold Peeler stood up.

“Let’s approach this spiritually,” he said. “We may not know who is responsible, but we can agree that responsibility is shared.”

Everyone nodded.

“That’s not sharing,” Mabel said. “That’s dissolving.”

Sister Lila Mae “Hallelujah” Pruitt stood up suddenly.

“I feel the Spirit moving this pig!” she declared.

Daisy howled.

“I believe,” Sister Lila Mae continued, “that this pig has been placed in our path as a test of unity.”

Everyone nodded enthusiastically.

“Unity in what?” Mabel asked.

“In agreement,” Sister Lila Mae said.

“We already have that,” Mabel replied.

“Then we are passing the test,” Sister Lila Mae said.

Mabel leaned back.

“We haven’t even started the test.”

Shelley scribbled something in her notebook.

“This is fascinating,” she said. “We’ve achieved unanimous agreement on the existence of a problem without identifying it, assigning it, or addressing it.”

“That’s efficient,” Clovis said.

“That’s avoidance,” Shelley replied.

Boot chuckled.

“Same thing, depending on how you look at it.”

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Act V – The Pig as Precedent

Outside, the pig remained unmoved.

Dr. Neil Cowgill arrived late, carrying a clipboard.

“I’ve examined the pig,” he announced.

Everyone turned.

“And?” Sheriff Peeler asked.

“It’s perfectly healthy,” Dr. Cowgill said.

“Then why ain’t it moving?” Doug asked.

“Because it doesn’t have to,” the doctor replied.

“That’s not how movement works,” Mabel said.

“It is if there’s no consequence,” Dr. Cowgill said.

The room went quiet again.

“That pig,” Coach Stubblefield said slowly, “is demonstrating positional authority.”

“What?” RT asked.

“It’s holding its ground,” Coach said. “And nobody’s challenging it.”

“That’s because nobody’s responsible,” Clovis added.

Everyone nodded.

Mabel did not.

“So the pig has more leadership than we do,” she said.

“That’s not leadership,” Wade said. “That’s… presence.”

“Same thing if nobody else moves,” Mabel replied.

Daisy barked again, louder this time.

“She wants something done,” Sheriff Peeler said.

“Or she wants acknowledgment,” Shelley said.

The pig outside shifted slightly, then stopped again.

Everyone leaned forward.

Then it settled.

Still.

Unmoved.

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Act VI – The Formalization of Nothing

Wade stood again.

“I propose,” he said, “that we draft a statement.”

Everyone nodded.

Mabel sighed.

“What will the statement say?” she asked.

“That we have reached a consensus,” Wade said.

“About what?” she pressed.

“That responsibility exists,” Tiffany said.

“And that we all share in recognizing that,” Clovis added.

“And that we support future action,” Lurleen said.

“What action?” Mabel asked.

“Appropriate action,” Evelyn said gently.

“That’s not a thing,” Mabel said.

“It’s a placeholder,” Shelley said.

“For what?” Mabel asked.

“For accountability,” Shelley replied.

Mabel stood up.

“You cannot placeholder accountability,” she said. “It either exists or it doesn’t.”

The room shifted uncomfortably.

Boot scratched his chin.

“Well,” he said, “we can all agree we don’t want to rush accountability.”

Everyone nodded.

Mabel closed her eyes briefly.

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Act VII – The Vote That Meant Nothing

“Let’s vote,” Wade said.

Everyone nodded eagerly.

“All in favor of recognizing shared responsibility without assigning it?”

Hands went up.

All of them.

Except Mabel’s.

“And opposed?” Wade asked.

Mabel raised her hand.

“Noted,” Wade said. “Motion passes.”

“Of course it does,” Mabel muttered.

Santiago leaned back.

“So what happens now?” he asked.

“We’ve reached agreement,” Clovis said.

“That’s not an outcome,” Sonny replied.

“It’s a conclusion,” Clovis said.

“It’s an ending without a middle,” Sonny said.

Daisy walked to the door and sat, staring at the pig.

“She’s waiting,” Sheriff Peeler said.

“For what?” Kenny Joe asked.

“For someone to do something,” the Sheriff said.

Inside, no one moved.

Outside, the pig didn’t either.

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Act VIII – The Quiet Recognition

The room began to settle into a kind of satisfied stillness.

“We did good,” Doug said.

“Very productive,” Lurleen agreed.

“We achieved unity,” Sister Lila Mae said.

“We achieved silence,” Shelley corrected.

Boot stood up and stretched.

“Well,” he said, “I reckon that settles it.”

Mabel remained seated.

“No,” she said quietly. “It doesn’t.”

Everyone looked at her.

“That pig,” she said, pointing outside, “is the only thing in this town holding a position.”

No one spoke.

“And every one of you,” she continued, “has agreed not to move it.”

“That’s not what we agreed to,” Clovis said.

“It is exactly what you agreed to,” Mabel replied.

Silence again.

Then, slowly, Clovis nodded.

Others followed.

Agreement, once again, spreading like a reflex.

Mabel did not nod.

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Act IX – The Departure Without Resolution

One by one, chairs scraped back.

People stood.

“Well,” Wade said, “we’ll reconvene if necessary.”

“About what?” Mabel asked.

“Future developments,” he said.

“There won’t be any,” she replied.

Outside, the pig remained.

Sheriff Peeler stepped out onto the porch, Daisy beside him.

“You gonna move?” he asked the pig.

The pig did not respond.

Daisy sat down next to it.

Holding position.

Inside, the lights dimmed.

The room emptied.

Agreement lingered in the air like a smell no one wanted to identify.

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Epilogue – The Only Thing That Stayed

By morning, the pig was still there.

So was Daisy.

Across town, people discussed how well the meeting had gone.

“How’d it turn out?” someone asked Boot at the diner.

“We all agreed,” Boot said.

“On what?”

Boot paused.

Then nodded.

“Everything,” he said.

At the church, Pastor Peeler referenced the unity achieved.

At the sheriff’s office, Kenny Joe filed a report titled “Resolved.”

At the print shop, Chester Ray printed a banner: CONSENSUS ACHIEVED

Mabel walked past it, not stopping.

On Main Street, the pig stood.

Unmoved.

Daisy stood beside it.

Also unmoved.

For the first time in days, something in town held its ground.

And it wasn’t the people.

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Disclaimer

No pigs were consulted in the drafting of this agreement. Any resemblance between the events described and actual decision-making processes is entirely coincidental, though not unexpected. The town of Sequatchie Crossing remains fully committed to addressing all situations through unanimous agreement, provided no one is required to act.

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